When Mother's Day [Father's Day] is Hard

This was written for Mother's Day, but is very applicable for those who struggle with Father's Day as well.

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Mother’s Day is an interesting day. There are those who could stand and speak of their amazing angel mothers and the wonderful support that they’ve had from them throughout their lives. 

I am not one of those.

There are others who can speak of motherhood and the blessing it has been in their life and the tremendous love that they have felt for their children. Because of my upbringing I have struggled a lot with motherhood. It has opened my eyes to how inadequate, weak, and human I really am.

Today I felt that I should speak to those who need the hope and healing that can only come through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, especially today for some.

When we are young we have hopes, ideas, and dreams for the future. Many of those include having a family. But not everyone is blessed with a spouse or children in this life. There are many who’s hearts weep with sorrow at shattered or unfulfilled dreams.

There are others who may lose a spouse to death or through divorce, or lose their children to poor choices or unforeseen tragedies.

Life is not easy and it can hurt a lot.

I grew up with a mother who was very angry and I was terrified of her. I never wanted to be that kind of a mother. But when my children were young I saw that anger show up in myself, and it scared me.

Many times in life it is our trials that draw us closer to the Lord — if we will allow them to. Other times we may allow our trials to push us away from the Lord as we try to find answers on our own. Throughout my life I have seen examples of both. 

I have had times where the heavens have felt silent, where I’ve cried because I had no idea what to do, and where I have asked others for help, and for some reason or another couldn’t be there for me. Even in those times where I could have felt completely abandoned I have never doubted that the Lord was there. I have seen too many examples of His hand in my life.

One of my favorite scriptures is Mosiah 4:9, “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth”

God our Father is real. He knows of our suffering and He hears our prayers.

I remember one day in particular, when my children were small. I had had a rough night. I think all 3 kids rotated getting up during the night; I would get one down and the other would be up — I guess I should have been grateful that they weren’t all up at the same time — but I didn’t get much sleep. In the morning I was getting breakfast ready and was really grouchy. I felt angry at everything and didn’t want my children to have to suffer from my lack of sleep. I remember standing by the kitchen sink and words from the previous general conference came to my mind. Sister Linda K. Burton had said, “all that is unfair about life can be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ" (Linda K. Burton, "Is Faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ Written in Our Hearts?", General Conference, October 2012).

Right then I felt that life was very unfair and that a horrendous weight was on my shoulders. I really wasn’t sure what to do, but I chose to test her words. I told the kids that I needed a minute and dropped to my knees right there on the kitchen floor. I prayed to my Father in Heaven for help. I told Him that I didn’t know how accessing the power of the atonement of Christ worked, but I asked that if it were possible, that through the atonement of Jesus Christ the negative feelings that I felt could be taken away so that my children wouldn’t have to suffer.

And, do you know what?

They vanished. 

Completely. 

I stood up, ready to take on the day.

That experience was a testimony to me of the healing and enabling power that can come through the atonement of Jesus Christ. It is something that I have used many times, and that power has never failed to bring the comfort that I need when I have asked for it.

One of my favorite scripture stories is found in the New Testament. The disciples are on the Sea of Galilee and the Savior is asleep in the boat. A big storm comes. Okay, so these are fishermen who live on the water so they wouldn’t be afraid of just any storm. This was much bigger than they felt they could handle.

In life we will encounter storms. Really big storms. We may feel that Jesus has forgotten about us and is sleeping in the back of the boat. We may feel afraid and unsure of how to move forward.

The disciples chose to wake Jesus,

“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:39).

I remember lying in bed one night listening to a thunderstorm. It was loud. The lightning was flashing and the thunder was booming and I could hear the rain pouring down. I then imagined the Savior on the waters with His disciples and realized that He is someone who had the power to say “peace” and have that storm cease.

That is the power that Jesus Christ has. 

That is the power that is available to us through His atoning sacrifice. That power can heal our hearts. That power can calm our souls. And that power is real.

President Uchtdorf, testified, “There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Hope of God’s Light", General Conference, April 2013).

That is the healing power that is available to each of us through the atonement of Jesus Christ. 

In the New Testament we find the story of Jairus. His daughter is sick and dying and he comes to Jesus asking Him to heal her. On the way to Jairus’ house a woman with an issue of blood reaches out, touches the hem of Jesus’ robe, and is healed. In the midst of this miraculous healing Jairus is informed that his daughter has passed away.

Can you imagine the agony of Jairus, watching someone else enjoy what he had been hoping for, and seeing others celebrating while his hopes are dashed to pieces?

I have a nephew who was struggling with a lot of things and ended up committing suicide in 2021. I know where he is now, and I am comforted by that thought, but sometimes I just miss him. 

When dreams are unfulfilled and hearts are broken we can turn to the Savior. It doesn’t make the bad things go away, but we can find peace in Him.

The Savior, true to form, had not forgotten Jairus. He turned to him and said, “Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:36). Sometimes the miracles we pray for won’t come right away. Sometimes they won’t come in this life. But, if we can trust in the Savior we can find the peace we seek.

The trend of the world today is that anything hard, unfair, or even uncomfortable can be seen as an unnatural tragedy. We know, however, that life is a test, and if we did not have the trials how could we grow?

Elder Richard G. Scott enlightened us with this knowledge: “so that the period of mortal testing and growth would yield its greatest benefit, you were taught and prepared for the circumstances you would personally encounter in mortality” (Richard G. Scott, "Truth Restored", General Conference, October 2005).

There is a girl who now lives in Utah named Meg Johnson. When she was younger she was a dancer. In her late teens or early 20s she came out to Utah to visit Saint George with some friends. She was fascinated by all the red rock and leaped from one rock to another until, as she tells the story, “I accidentally jumped off a cliff.” She fell and landed on the ground below — paralyzed from the neck down.

She is one who is blessed with the gift of dreams. In her book, “When Life Gets Hard, Just Keep Rollin’” she relates one dream in particular that has really impressed me. In her dream she knew that she was in the pre-earth life with a man who was wearing all white. He had a white binder and sat down beside her. He explained that during her life she would be paralyzed. She exclaimed, “I am so excited!” She then explained that she didn’t have any idea what being paralyzed would mean, “but” she said, “if that is what it would take for me to become like my Father in Heaven, I would do anything.”

I have not personally dealt with such a tragedy as she has, but others have. However, I have my own personally curated trials and challenges that will help me in my efforts to become more like my Savior and my Heavenly Parents.

But what about those times when we have worked so hard and tried again and again and have been so diligent and kept being obedient despite the obstacles? What happens when we become so worn out and tired and don’t have the strength to keep going on? Sometimes after expending all of our efforts with nothing seeming to work out, we are ready to be done trying.

I’ve been there multiple times.

In the New Testament we read about Jesus teaching a multitude when a man came to him with his son who had been afflicted since he was young. The father explained of the challenges that the family had dealt with:

“[O]fttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but,” he said, “if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us” (Mark 9:22).

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shared, “With no other hope remaining, this father asserts what faith he has and pleads with the Savior of the world, ‘If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.' I can hardly read those words without weeping. The plural pronoun us is obviously used intentionally. This man is saying, in effect, ‘Our whole family is pleading. Our struggle never ceases. We are exhausted. Our son falls into the water. He falls into the fire. He is continually in danger, and we are continually afraid. We don’t know where else to turn. Can you help us? We will be grateful for anything—a partial blessing, a glimmer of hope, some small lifting of the burden carried by this boy’s mother every day of her life.’” (Jeffrey R. Holland, "Lord, I Believe", General Conference, April 2013).

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” (Mark 9:24).

Sometimes when the challenges have gone on for so long and we have lost hope, we have a hard time believing that there might be a light in some distant future where things will work out. In those times we may need to ask for the help to believe.

Joseph Smith taught that, our Father in Heaven is more “boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive” (Joseph Smith, History, 1838–1856, volume D-1 [1 August 1842–1 July 1843]). 

Test out these words and promises and come to know for yourself.

In closing, I want to wish all of you a happy Mother’s Day. For those who have been fortunate enough to have wonderful amazing mothers, be grateful. For those who have the chance in this life to be mothers, be grateful. For those who don’t have either, remember that you have a Father and a Mother in Heaven who both love you dearly and long to have you back home with them again. 

I testify that it is through the prophet Joseph Smith that the plan of our Heavenly Father has been restored to the earth. This plan provided a way through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ to give us the comfort and help that we will need as we struggle throughout our lives. As we turn to our Savior we can find the strength and capacity to continue on through the difficulties we will face.

I know God lives. I know He loves all of us. He really is there.

How Agency Affects our Freedoms

Freedom and agency are interesting subjects to talk about when it seems like much of the world is in chaos and commotion about how to define freedom, choice, and rights.

As I have been reading the news, and listening to conversations about what is going on, I often wonder what I can do to better prepare my children for the world they are going to have to face in the future. We have heard many prophecies of the challenges that will surround us in the last days, and I recognize that it is going to be so much worse for them in the future than it is for us today. How can I help them be strong enough to teach their own children while the world is taking a nosedive with regard to the family, home, the value of life, honesty, integrity, forgiveness, and so many other values? How do we keep them on the straight and narrow covenant path?

Elder Francisco Viñas taught something that helped me better understand my role as a parent. 

“The principles that we choose to incorporate into our lives will determine the spirit that we contribute in our relationships with others. When we adopt a principle, its influence radiates from us and can be felt by others.

“Now more than ever, when we see that the family is at the center of attacks from the forces of evil—as in the days of the prophet Mormon, when ‘the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land’ it is necessary for us as parents to incorporate these principles into our lives in order to radiate their influence and for this influence to be perceived by our children” (Francisco J. Viñas, "Applying the Simple and Plain Gospel Principles in the Family", General Conference, April 2004).

As parents, we need to be the example for our children, not the church, not the schools, not their peers. The Lord has entrusted them specifically and intentionally to us.

I am grateful for parents who radiated faith and trust in the Lord. When I was young, my dad got a job as a liaison for the Welfare and Finance Departments for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After working there only a few months he was asked to go to Bogotá Colombia to investigate a potential case of embezzling. There was embezzling and the guy was fired. My parents had talked about moving internationally (and had already applied for a job in Mexico) so my dad asked to be considered for this job in Colombia. He got the job and my family moved to what would be 6 years in South America, when I was 7 years old. During this time I saw many examples of the contrasts between the freedoms we have in this country as well as people’s use of agency and the effects it has on others.

Right before Christmas break one year, the U.S. had extradited a couple of drug traffickers to the United States. In return there was a threat of killing 10 Americans for every Colombian extradited; a threat they had been carried out 10 years earlier. Our large, North American family suddenly felt like a target. Our friends, who's parents worked for the government, were transported in armored vehicles until they could get them out of the country. Our family, working for the church, was not so privileged. We rode public transportation like the rest of the country.

Someone who I will never meet in this life, made a choice at some time in their life to get into the drug business, and because of that the lives of my family members, along with countless others, were threatened.

During this time churches were being bombed. I am grateful that we had a small community that we were connected with. Together we choose a different time and a different family’s house to meet at every week for Sacrament Meeting so that we couldn’t be tracked and targeted. The Spirit was also with us during those troubling times. I remember riding the bus home from school one day and seeing a blue van behind us taking pictures. I felt prompted to stay in my seat and not join all the other kids running to the back of the bus to look.

Miraculously our family was able to get out of Bogotá within a week of notifying headquarters; which was between Christmas and New Years, when there is hardly anyone in the Salt Lake office. However, the Lord had prepared a way for us to leave the country, and so it happened.

They found a home for us in Quito, Ecuador, where we lived for 9 months while they looked for a permanent position for my dad. He continued commuting back to Colombia each week for work and he can tell you a whole lot more stories than I can about his bags being stolen at the airport, etc. I prefer to remember the many more stories of the miracles that we saw during that time.

In February of 1989, we were living in Caracas, Venezuela. In response to the government economic reform (causing the price of gas to go from $0.10 a gallon to $0.25 a gallon overnight), the country fell into chaos. It became known as “Caracazo”; a week of riots and protests. Stores were looted, buses were burned, and school was canceled (which we kids loved!). My parents were curious about what was going on and drove to the local mall to see what they could learn for themselves. There was no internet in those days, so sometimes you had to go and find out for yourself. They were told by a police officer to go home; it was a war zone. 

The day before all of this took place, my dad had to fly an hour out of the city to a construction project and back home the same day. He said that when he boarded the plane to come home they were told that the main airport they were going to was closed. However, they ended up taking off and he figured they wouldn’t take off unless they were going to be able to land. Which they did. While he had been gone, my Mom went to get our propane tanks filled. That night my parents felt they should fill up the gas tanks in the car. Some may say this is a coincidence, but I see this as the hand of the Lord in our lives.

Due to my parents’ promptness in listening to the spirit, and also being faithful in keeping and regularly using their food storage, we were spared having to go out during all the chaos. Because of their faithful obedience our family was not affected as so many others were, who were not as prepared. I remember not feeling worried even as I listened to the sound of machine gun fire as I fell asleep at night.

That was over 30 years ago, and sometimes it doesn’t seem like things have changed that much. Especially with the recent pandemic and the lockdowns we had.

Our obedience to the Lord is what will keep us safe and protected. Our agency is what we choose to do to prepare for the hard times that have been prophesied.

Elder Larry R. Lawrence said, 

“We have been battling the hosts of evil in an ongoing war that began in the premortal sphere before we were born.

“Because we had not yet received physical bodies, we fought the War in Heaven without swords, guns, or bombs. But the fighting was just as intense as any modern war, and there were billions of casualties.

“The premortal war was fought with words, ideas, debate, and persuasion. Satan’s strategy was [and is] to frighten people. He knew that fear is the best way to destroy faith” (Larry R. Lawrence, "The War Goes On", Ensign, April 2017).

We have been counseled recently by our prophet to increase our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, in order to withstand the evils of our day. President Henry B. Eyring, of the First Presidency, also warned us, “If the foundation of faith [in Jesus Christ] is not embedded in our hearts, the power to endure will crumble” (Henry B. Eyring, "Mountains to Climb", General Conference, April 2012). 

I came across a quote by Wilford Woodruff that I find fascinating. He warned us, back in the 1800s, of exactly what is happening right now, and what we can do about it:

"We are approaching changes. There are judgments at our door. There are judgments at the door of this nation, and at the door of Great Babylon….[T]he Lord in ancient days swept away great cities when they were ripened in iniquity. Jerusalem was overthrown in fulfillment of the words of the Lord. Jeremiah and Isaiah prophesied what would come to pass, and it was fulfilled to the very letter. So I say to the Gentiles, so I say to the Latter-day Saints. What the Lord has spoken concerning our nation, and concerning the nations of the earth, notwithstanding that the unbelief of the world may be great, notwithstanding that they may reject the word of God and seek to put the servants of God to death—will all be fulfilled. War, pestilence, famine, earthquakes and storms await this generation. These calamities will overtake the world as God lives, and no power can prevent them....Therefore, let us round up our shoulders and bear off the kingdom. Let us labor to obtain the Holy Spirit—and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—which has been put into our hands, and inasmuch as we do this, the blessing of God will attend our efforts" (Wilford Woodfruff, JD 21:126-7).

He asked us to “labor to obtain the Holy Spirit” and the [power] therein, just as President Nelson has urged us to “do the spiritual work required to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost” and “to study prayerfully all the truths you can find about priesthood power” (see Russell M. Nelson, "Revelation for the Church, Revelation for our Lives", General Conference, April 2018 and "Spiritual Treasures", General Conference, October 2019).

These latter days have been prophesied about for millennia. Over 2000 years ago the apostle Paul  saw our day. Listen as he describes our day:

“[I]n the last days perilous times shall come.

“For men shall be lovers of their own selves [I see this as doing things for our own purposes, sometimes at the expense of others], covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful [something President Nelson felt impressed by the Lord that we needed to work on shortly after the pandemic started], unholy,

“Without natural affection [which may refer to the plague of homosexuality that is so prevalent in the world], trucebreakers, false accusers [don’t we see a lack of honesty and integrity all around us?], incontinent [meaning out of control], fierce [violently hostile or aggressive], despisers of those that are good,

“Traitors, heady [meaning willful or impulsive], highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:1-5).

We are living in the last days. There is so much wickedness and corruption around us that sometimes I forget about the good that is out there too.

Recently, as I was driving to the temple, I was thinking about how the wickedness in this world is growing at an absolutely astounding rate. As I thought about it, the spirit reminded me that good will grow in proportion to the bad, just like the parable of the wheat and tares (see Matthew 13:24-30). I was also reminded that there seems to have been a significant increase in the number of temples that President Nelson has announced. I looked it up, and as of April 2022, President Nelson has announced 100 temples in the 4 years since he became the prophet.

How comforting that was to me to be reminded that the Lord is bringing light into the world, just as quickly as the evil is trying to cover it with darkness.

I remember watching a movie with my husband about a group of people who escaped from a concentration camp. After the movie, when I was saying my prayers, I pled with the Lord that my children and I would never have to face such horrific circumstances as that. The answer I received was not what I had expected. The Spirit whispered, “make sure you keep them in the next life”. This life will end, and where we go will be determined by our choices. 

Daniel H. Wells, in the Journal of Discourse, taught:

“The Gospel makes men and women free—free from sin—the greatest of all tyrants; and there is no greater slave on the earth than the man who is under the control of his own passions, and who is subject to the dictation of the spirit of evil which is so prevalent in the world. The acts of all such persons bring their own punishment, and it is swift and certain; while those who are controlled by the principles of the Gospel have a joy and peace, under whatever circumstances in life they may be placed, which the world knows nothing of, and which it can neither give nor take away, for they have an inward consciousness that their course secures to them the confidence of the Lord our God” (Daniel H. Wells, Journal of Discourse 16:125).

It is through the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ that we are able to become free from sin and spiritual destruction. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said,

“It is because of the Atonement of Christ that we can recover from bad choices, and it is because of the Atonement of Christ that the impact on us of others’ sins and mistakes—and every other injustice—is redressed” (D. Todd Christofferson, "Moral Agency", BYU Devotional, January 2006).

How grateful I am for the gospel, and for the knowledge I have of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and who I can talk to. I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ that has allowed me to change, and not be held back by my poor choices. I am grateful for a living prophet on the earth, especially during this perilous, yet marvelous, time that we live in.

I know God lives, and that He has a plan for each of us. I know that as we follow the counsel of our living prophet, to  “Hear Him, repent daily, seek and expect miracles, to do the spiritual work required to hear the voice of the Spirit, and to stretch beyond our current spiritual ability to receive personal revelation, we can be guided and blessed during these trying times in which we live.

The Plan of Salvation: Overview

Premortal World

Many years ago, perhaps even millions and millions of years ago, we lived as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

Architects create structures, and can call them their creations. However, these creations don’t have the potential to become like their builder. Our Heavenly Father has created us. We, as His spirit children, have the potential to become as He is. President Uchtdorf said, “My dear brothers and sisters, if we look at ourselves only through our mortal eyes, we may not see ourselves as good enough. But our Heavenly Father sees us as who we truly are and who we can become. He sees us as His sons and daughters, as beings of eternal light with everlasting potential and with a divine destiny” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “It Works Wonderfully!”, Ensign, November 2015).

It was in our pre-earthly estate that our Father in Heaven introduced His plan to us, His spirit children. Elder Robert D. Hales explained,

“In a premortal council, Heavenly Father explained to us His plan of redemption. The plan was based on doctrine, law, and principles that have always existed. We learned that if we accepted and followed the plan, we would be required to willingly leave our Father’s presence and be tested to show whether we would choose to live according to His laws and commandments. We rejoiced at this opportunity and gratefully sustained the plan because it offered us the way to become like our Heavenly Father and inherit eternal life.

“But the plan was not without risk: if we chose in mortality not to live according to God’s eternal laws, we would receive something less than eternal life. Father knew we would stumble and sin as we learned by experience in mortality, so He provided a Savior to redeem from sin all who repent and to heal the spiritual and emotional wounds of those who obey.” (Robert D. Hales, “The Plan of Salvation: A Sacred Treasure of Knowledge to Guide Us”, Ensign, Oct 2015).

The Atonement of Jesus Christ, is a critical piece in our Father’s Plan. In the Bible Dictionary we read that, “All are covered unconditionally as pertaining to the fall of Adam. Hence, all shall rise from the dead with immortal bodies, because of Jesus’ atonement…The atonement is conditional, however, so far as each person’s individual sins are concerned, and touches every one to the degree that he has faith in Jesus Christ, repents of his sins, and obeys the gospel” (Bible Dictionary: Atonement).

We know, however, that not everyone was joyful about the news, nor did everyone accept the Father’s plan. We had agency in the premortal world, just as we have it now. Joseph Fielding Smith taught, “God gave his children their free agency even in the spirit world, by which the individual spirits had the privilege, just as men have here, of choosing the good and rejecting the evil, of partaking of the evil to suffer the consequences of their sins. Because of this, some even there were more faithful than others in keeping the commandments of the Lord” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 1:58-59).

We know through the scriptures that Lucifer turned,

“a third part of the hosts of heaven…away from [our Father in Heaven] because of their agency;

And they were thrust down, and thus came the devil and his angels;” (Doctrine &Covenants 29:36-37).

These spirits, just as we, lived in the presence of God, the Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ. They were given the opportunity to make a conscious, informed choice, and made their choice knowing full well what the consequence would be.

Elder Tad R. Callister, in his book The Infinite Atonement noted that, “All premortal spirits commenced their spirit sojourn innocent (i.e., meaning free from sin), but all such spirits lost their innocence through individual sin” (Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, p77). He also reminds us that, “the two-thirds that remained were not all equal in their allegiance and obedience to God. At their spiritual birth they were ‘on the same standing as their brethren’, but through the laws of agency each spirit advanced at his own rate so that only some became ‘noble and great ones’” (Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, p76-77).

Birth

From our premortal life, we came down to our second estate on earth, through the miracle of birth. A veil of forgetfulness was placed over our memories so that we would have to live by faith in this life. In the Book of Mormon Alma taught that, “this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors” (Alma 34:32). And from the Book of Abraham we learn that we are here on earth to be tested, and “to see if [we] will do all things whatsoever the Lord [our] God shall command [us]. And they who keep their first estate [that is to be obedient in the premortal existence] shall be added upon; … and they who keep their second estate [that is, to be obedient during mortal life] shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.” (Abraham 3:25-26). Of these verses Elder Richard G. Scott stated,

“So that the period of mortal testing and growth would yield its greatest benefit, you were taught and prepared for the circumstances you would personally encounter in mortality. Our Father’s pattern for guiding you through mortal life was explained. …God would give each child moral agency, the right to choose His counsel or to ignore it. All would be encouraged but not forced to obey. You understood that while you could choose your path on earth, you could not determine the outcome of your choices. That would be decided by eternal law” (Richard G. Scott, “Truth Restored”, Ensign, November 2005).

Mortality

We are now here in mortality. We have some glimpses of what happened before this life, but we were sent here to live by faith and to use our agency to learn for ourselves; to choose between good and evil, right and wrong, and sometimes between something good and something even better.

This life is a time where we will be tried and tested, again and again. The adversary is very aware of who we are, and who we can become; he and his minions do not have a veil covering their memories. But the Lord does not either. And, with Him at our side we can succeed because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Understanding the Atonement of Jesus Christ is essential to our eternal success on this earth. As we come to understand the power that is available to us through the Atonement, not just the power to repent but also the power to change, we can gain confidence as we make our journey back to our Father in Heaven.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “God knew the challenges [those in mortality] would face, and He certainly knew how lonely and troubled they would sometimes feel. So He watched over His mortal family constantly, heard their prayers always, and sent prophets (and later apostles) to teach, counsel, and guide them” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Angels”, Ensign, Nov 2008).

Through miracles too numerous to be counted we have the fullness of the gospel on the earth. The gospel of Jesus Christ was restored by Jesus Christ, through the prophet Joseph Smith. We have the Priesthood restored to the earth through which we can make covenants that will help us on our path back to our Father in Heaven. In fact, we have everything that we will need to make it back to Him, if we will do what He asks and endure to the end.

Lorenzo Snow taught, “The Lord has placed before us incentives of the grandest character. In the revelations which God has given, we find what a person can reach who will travel this path of knowledge and be guided by the Spirit of God. I had not been in this Church [very long] when it was clearly shown to me what a man could reach through a continued obedience to the Gospel of the Son of God. That knowledge has been as a star continually before me, and has caused me to be particular in trying to do that which was right and acceptable to God” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow, “Chapter 5: The Grand Destiny of the Faithful”).

Death

Our days are known to the Lord, and when our time on this earth is done we will pass into the spirit world. Brigham Young taught the following about our life after this one,

“We shall turn round and look upon [the valley of death] and think, when we have crossed it, why this is the greatest advantage of my whole existence, for I have passed from a state of sorrow, grief, mourning, woe, misery, pain, anguish and disappointment into a state of existence, where I can enjoy life to the fullest extent as far as that can be done without a body. My spirit is set free, I thirst no more, I want to sleep no more, I hunger no more, I tire no more, I run, I walk, I labor, I go, I come, I do this, I do that, whatever is required of me, nothing like pain or weariness, I am full of life, full of vigor, and I enjoy the presence of my heavenly Father” (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, 17:142; quoted in Doctrines Of The Gospel Student Manual, “Chapter 30: Death And The Postmortal Spirit World”).

What a marvelous day, when that time comes.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in the book of Alma, where Alma is speaking to his son Corianton. He said, “Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life” (Alma 40:11, emphasis added). We have a loving Father in Heaven who is watching over each of us, and will be there to welcome us home. President Ezra Taft Benson also taught that, “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar His face is to us” (Ezra Taft Benson, "Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expectations", Ensign, December 1988). I am looking forward to that day, even though I know it is probably many years away.

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Alma describes two divisions among spirits in the Spirit World. We usually refer to these divisions as Spirit Paradise and Spirit Prison.

Bruce R. McConckie described Spirit Paradise as follows: “Paradise—the abode of righteous spirits, as they await the day of their resurrection; paradise—a place of peace and rest where the sorrows and trials of his life have been shuffled off, and where the saints continue to prepare for a celestial heaven; paradise—not the Lord’s eternal kingdom, but a way station along the course leading to eternal life” (Bruce R. McConkie, The Mortal Messiah, 4:222). 

We have learned the following about Spirit Prison: 

“The Apostle Peter referred to the postmortal spirit world as a prison, which it is for some. In the spirit prison are the spirits of those who have not yet received the gospel of Jesus Christ. These spirits have agency and may be enticed by both good and evil. If they accept the gospel and the ordinances performed for them in the temples, they may leave the spirit prison and dwell in paradise.

“Also in the spirit prison are those who rejected the gospel after it was preached to them either on earth or in the spirit prison. These spirits suffer in a condition known as hell. They have removed themselves from the mercy of Jesus Christ” (Gospel Principles, “Chapter 41: The Postmortal Spirit World”).

Through the restoration of the gospel we know that, “Through the work we do in temples, all people who have lived on the earth can have an equal opportunity to receive the fulness of the gospel and the ordinances of salvation so they can inherit a place in the highest degree of celestial glory” (Gospel Principles, “Chapter 46: The Final Judgment”).

“The spirit world is a place of waiting, working, learning, and, for the righteous, resting from care and sorrow. Our spirits will live there until we are ready for our resurrection”. (Gospel Principles, “Chapter 41: The Postmortal Spirit World”)..

Resurrection

After some amount of time in the spirit world all will be resurrected. In the Bible Dictionary it states, “All will not be raised to the same glory in the resurrection nor will all come forth at the same time. Christ was first; the righteous have precedence over the wicked, and come forth in the first resurrection, whereas the unrepentant sinners come forth in the last resurrection….

“The resurrection consists in the uniting of a spirit body with a body of flesh and bones, never again to be divided. The resurrection shall come to all, because of Christ’s victory over death….[A] resurrection means to become immortal, without blood, yet with a body of flesh and bone. To obtain a resurrection with a celestial, exalted body is the center point of hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ” (Bible Dictionary: Resurrection).

Judgment

In the scriptures we read that all of us will be judged. In the Book of Revelation, John records, “And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works” (Revelation 20:12). Joseph Smith explained that these books refer to, “the books which contained the record of [our] works, and refer to the records which are kept on the earth. And the book which was the book of life is the record which is kept in heaven;” (Doctrine & Covenants 128:7).

Alma explains that not only will we be judged according to our works, but also our words, and our thoughts (see Alma 12:14). And, lest we think we can hide anything from the Lord, Nephi teaches that Jesus Christ will be, “the keeper of the gate…and he employeth no servant there [and] he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is his name” (2 Nephi 9:41).

In Gospel Principles we read, “There is another record that will be used to judge us. The Apostle Paul taught that we ourselves are a record of our life. Stored in our body and mind is a complete history of everything we have done. President John Taylor taught this truth: “[The individual] tells the story himself, and bears witness against himself. … That record that is written by the man himself in the tablets of his own mind, that record that cannot lie will in that day be unfolded before God and angels, and those who shall sit as judges” (Gospel Principles, “Chapter 46: The Final Judgment”).

Depending on how we have chosen to live our lives in mortality will determine which kingdom of glory we will inherit. The Doctrine and Covenants specifies three kingdoms of glory: the Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial.

Those in the Celestial Kingdom are those who “received the testimony of Jesus…believed on his name and were baptized…[kept] the commandments…[received] the Holy Ghost...[overcame] by faith, and are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise” (Doctrine & Covenants 76:51-53). These are those who were sealed as husband and wife in the Holy Temple, and kept the covenants therein. These are those who are obedient and valiant in their testimony of Jesus Christ. “These shall dwell in the presence of God and his Christ forever and ever” (Doctrine & Covenants 76:62).

Bruce R. McConkie gives quite a detailed description of what it means to be valiant in the testimony of Jesus. He said,

“Now what does it mean to be valiant in the testimony of Jesus?

“It is to be courageous and bold; to use all our strength, energy, and ability in the warfare with the world; to fight the good fight of faith. ‘Be strong and of a good courage,’ the Lord commanded Joshua, and then specified that this strength and courage consisted of meditating upon and observing to do all that is written in the law of the Lord. The great cornerstone of valiance in the cause of righteousness is obedience to the whole law of the whole gospel.

“To be valiant in the testimony of Jesus is to ‘come unto Christ, and be perfected in him’; it is to deny ourselves ‘of all ungodliness,’ and ‘love God’ with all our ‘might, mind and strength.’

“To be valiant in the testimony of Jesus is to believe in Christ and his gospel with unshakable conviction. It is to know of the verity and divinity of the Lord’s work on earth.

“But this is not all. It is more than believing and knowing. We must be doers of the word and not hearers only. It is more than lip service; it is not simply confessing with the mouth the divine Sonship of the Savior. It is obedience and conformity and personal righteousness. ‘Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.’

“To be valiant in the testimony of Jesus is to ‘press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.’ It is to ‘endure to the end.’ It is to live our religion, to practice what we preach, to keep the commandments. It is the manifestation of ‘pure religion’ in the lives of men; it is visiting ‘the fatherless and widows in their affliction’ and keeping ourselves ‘unspotted from the world.’

“To be valiant in the testimony of Jesus is to bridle our passions, control our appetites, and rise above carnal and evil things. It is to overcome the world as did he who is our prototype and who himself was the most valiant of all our Father’s children. It is to be morally clean, to pay our tithes and offerings, to honor the Sabbath day, to pray with full purpose of heart, to lay our all upon the altar if called upon to do so.

“To be valiant in the testimony of Jesus is to take the Lord’s side on every issue. It is to vote as he would vote. It is to think what he thinks, to believe what he believes, to say what he would say and do what he would do in the same situation. It is to have the mind of Christ and be one with him as he is one with his Father.” (Bruce R. McConkie, “Be Valiant in theFight”, Ensign, November 1974).

That is a tall order, and can only be accomplished by relying consistently and continually on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. But, those who do this, “shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths…. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power” (Doctrine & Covenants 132:19-20).

That is our goal.

We know the following about those who will inherit the Terrestrial Kingdom. “These are they who rejected the gospel on earth but afterward received it in the spirit world. These are the honorable people on the earth who were blinded to the gospel of Jesus Christ by the craftiness of men. These are also they who received the gospel and a testimony of Jesus but then were not valiant” (Gospel Principles, “Chapter 46: The Final Judgment”). This would include those members of the church who are not valiant in their testimony of Jesus Christ.

We know that hard times are ahead for us, before the Second Coming of the Savior. In the early days of the church, Heber C. Kimball said, “The Saints will be put to tests that will try the integrity of the best of them” (as quoted by Ezra Taft Benson, “May the Kingdom of God Go Forth”, Ensign, May 1978). And more recently, President Russell M. Nelson reminded us,

“[D]ifficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint. Each of us will be tested. The Apostle Paul warned that in the latter days, those who diligently follow the Lord ‘shall suffer persecution.’ That very persecution can either crush you into silent weakness or motivate you to be more exemplary and courageous in your daily lives.

“How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth” (Russell M. Nelson, "Face the Future with Faith", Ensign, May 2011).

How we deal with our trials will also be a determining factor in where we go after this life.

The lowest Kingdom of Glory is the Telestial Kingdom. In the Doctrine & Covenants we read,

“These are they who received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus.

“These are they who deny not the Holy Spirit….

“These are they who are liars, and sorcerers, and adulterers, and whoremongers, and whosoever loves and makes a lie” (Doctrine & Covenants 76:82-83, 103).

Those who do not inherit a kingdom of glory will be cast into what is referred to as outer darkness. Regarding them, in the Doctrine & Covenants, the voice of the Lord was recorded as saying,

“Thus saith the Lord concerning all those who know my power, and have been made partakers thereof, and suffered themselves through the power of the devil to be overcome, and to deny the truth and defy my power—

“They are they who are the sons of perdition, of whom I say that it had been better for them never to have been born;

“For they are vessels of wrath, doomed to suffer the wrath of God, with the devil and his angels in eternity;

“Concerning whom I have said there is no forgiveness in this world nor in the world to come—

“Having denied the Holy Spirit after having received it, and having denied the Only Begotten Son of the Father, having crucified him unto themselves and put him to an open shame.

“These are they who shall go away into the lake of fire and brimstone, with the devil and his angels—

“And the only ones on whom the second death shall have any power” (Doctrine & Covenants 76:31-37).

I don’t think this means those who have a testimony, and failed to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, or those of us who make poor choices more often than we want to admit.

This is for those who knew God, had a witness of Him, but rather than relying on the power of the Atonement, these are they who allowed themselves, through their agency, to be overcome by the power of the devil, and follow him as their master.

Alma puts it this way, “But behold, an awful death cometh upon the wicked; for they die as to things pertaining to things of righteousness; for they are unclean, and no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of God; but they are cast out, and consigned to partake of the fruits of their labors or their works, which have been evil; and they drink the dregs of a bitter cup” (Alma 40:26).

Where we end up after this life is determined by our choices here on earth. The Lord’s Plan of Happiness is a plan of agency. Our agency.

Eternities

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said this about the Plan of Salvation.

“The Savior’s sacrifice opened the door of salvation for all to return to God. His ‘grace is sufficient for all [who] humble themselves before [God].’ His grace is the enabling power that allows access into God’s kingdoms of salvation. Because of His grace, we will all be resurrected and saved in a kingdom of glory.

“Even the lowest kingdom of glory, the telestial kingdom, “surpasses all understanding,” and numberless people will inherit this salvation.

“But the Savior’s grace can do much more for us. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we aspire to something unimaginably greater. It is exaltation in the celestial kingdom. It is life eternal in the presence of our Father in Heaven. It is the greatest gift of God. In the celestial kingdom, we receive ‘of his fulness, and of his glory.’ Indeed, all that the Father hath shall be given unto us” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “It Works Wonderfully!”, Ensign, November 2015).

How grateful I am to have the Plan of Salvation. To know where I came from, and that I’m a daughter of God; why I’m here on earth, the steps I need to take to return to my Father in Heaven, and what comes after this life. How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength and support it provides to me each day; when I remember to ask. I know that God lives, that He loves us, and watches over us. He will give us the experiences we need to progress toward perfection and our destiny as heirs of eternal life if we will let him.