This was written for Mother's Day, but is very applicable for those who struggle with Father's Day as well.
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Mother’s Day is an interesting day. There are those who could stand and speak of their amazing angel mothers and the wonderful support that they’ve had from them throughout their lives.
I am not one of those.
There are others who can speak of motherhood and the blessing it has been in their life and the tremendous love that they have felt for their children. Because of my upbringing I have struggled a lot with motherhood. It has opened my eyes to how inadequate, weak, and human I really am.
Today I felt that I should speak to those who need the hope and healing that can only come through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, especially today for some.
When we are young we have hopes, ideas, and dreams for the future. Many of those include having a family. But not everyone is blessed with a spouse or children in this life. There are many who’s hearts weep with sorrow at shattered or unfulfilled dreams.
There are others who may lose a spouse to death or through divorce, or lose their children to poor choices or unforeseen tragedies.
Life is not easy and it can hurt a lot.
I grew up with a mother who was very angry and I was terrified of her. I never wanted to be that kind of a mother. But when my children were young I saw that anger show up in myself, and it scared me.
Many times in life it is our trials that draw us closer to the Lord — if we will allow them to. Other times we may allow our trials to push us away from the Lord as we try to find answers on our own. Throughout my life I have seen examples of both.
I have had times where the heavens have felt silent, where I’ve cried because I had no idea what to do, and where I have asked others for help, and for some reason or another couldn’t be there for me. Even in those times where I could have felt completely abandoned I have never doubted that the Lord was there. I have seen too many examples of His hand in my life.
One of my favorite scriptures is Mosiah 4:9, “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth”
God our Father is real. He knows of our suffering and He hears our prayers.
I remember one day in particular, when my children were small. I had had a rough night. I think all 3 kids rotated getting up during the night; I would get one down and the other would be up — I guess I should have been grateful that they weren’t all up at the same time — but I didn’t get much sleep. In the morning I was getting breakfast ready and was really grouchy. I felt angry at everything and didn’t want my children to have to suffer from my lack of sleep. I remember standing by the kitchen sink and words from the previous general conference came to my mind. Sister Linda K. Burton had said, “all that is unfair about life can be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ" (Linda K. Burton, "Is Faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ Written in Our Hearts?", General Conference, October 2012).
Right then I felt that life was very unfair and that a horrendous weight was on my shoulders. I really wasn’t sure what to do, but I chose to test her words. I told the kids that I needed a minute and dropped to my knees right there on the kitchen floor. I prayed to my Father in Heaven for help. I told Him that I didn’t know how accessing the power of the atonement of Christ worked, but I asked that if it were possible, that through the atonement of Jesus Christ the negative feelings that I felt could be taken away so that my children wouldn’t have to suffer.
And, do you know what?
They vanished.
Completely.
I stood up, ready to take on the day.
That experience was a testimony to me of the healing and enabling power that can come through the atonement of Jesus Christ. It is something that I have used many times, and that power has never failed to bring the comfort that I need when I have asked for it.
One of my favorite scripture stories is found in the New Testament. The disciples are on the Sea of Galilee and the Savior is asleep in the boat. A big storm comes. Okay, so these are fishermen who live on the water so they wouldn’t be afraid of just any storm. This was much bigger than they felt they could handle.
In life we will encounter storms. Really big storms. We may feel that Jesus has forgotten about us and is sleeping in the back of the boat. We may feel afraid and unsure of how to move forward.
The disciples chose to wake Jesus,
“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:39).
I remember lying in bed one night listening to a thunderstorm. It was loud. The lightning was flashing and the thunder was booming and I could hear the rain pouring down. I then imagined the Savior on the waters with His disciples and realized that He is someone who had the power to say “peace” and have that storm cease.
That is the power that Jesus Christ has.
That is the power that is available to us through His atoning sacrifice. That power can heal our hearts. That power can calm our souls. And that power is real.
President Uchtdorf, testified, “There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Hope of God’s Light", General Conference, April 2013).
That is the healing power that is available to each of us through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
In the New Testament we find the story of Jairus. His daughter is sick and dying and he comes to Jesus asking Him to heal her. On the way to Jairus’ house a woman with an issue of blood reaches out, touches the hem of Jesus’ robe, and is healed. In the midst of this miraculous healing Jairus is informed that his daughter has passed away.
Can you imagine the agony of Jairus, watching someone else enjoy what he had been hoping for, and seeing others celebrating while his hopes are dashed to pieces?
I have a nephew who was struggling with a lot of things and ended up committing suicide in 2021. I know where he is now, and I am comforted by that thought, but sometimes I just miss him.
When dreams are unfulfilled and hearts are broken we can turn to the Savior. It doesn’t make the bad things go away, but we can find peace in Him.
The Savior, true to form, had not forgotten Jairus. He turned to him and said, “Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:36). Sometimes the miracles we pray for won’t come right away. Sometimes they won’t come in this life. But, if we can trust in the Savior we can find the peace we seek.
The trend of the world today is that anything hard, unfair, or even uncomfortable can be seen as an unnatural tragedy. We know, however, that life is a test, and if we did not have the trials how could we grow?
Elder Richard G. Scott enlightened us with this knowledge: “so that the period of mortal testing and growth would yield its greatest benefit, you were taught and prepared for the circumstances you would personally encounter in mortality” (Richard G. Scott, "Truth Restored", General Conference, October 2005).
There is a girl who now lives in Utah named Meg Johnson. When she was younger she was a dancer. In her late teens or early 20s she came out to Utah to visit Saint George with some friends. She was fascinated by all the red rock and leaped from one rock to another until, as she tells the story, “I accidentally jumped off a cliff.” She fell and landed on the ground below — paralyzed from the neck down.
She is one who is blessed with the gift of dreams. In her book, “When Life Gets Hard, Just Keep Rollin’” she relates one dream in particular that has really impressed me. In her dream she knew that she was in the pre-earth life with a man who was wearing all white. He had a white binder and sat down beside her. He explained that during her life she would be paralyzed. She exclaimed, “I am so excited!” She then explained that she didn’t have any idea what being paralyzed would mean, “but” she said, “if that is what it would take for me to become like my Father in Heaven, I would do anything.”
I have not personally dealt with such a tragedy as she has, but others have. However, I have my own personally curated trials and challenges that will help me in my efforts to become more like my Savior and my Heavenly Parents.
But what about those times when we have worked so hard and tried again and again and have been so diligent and kept being obedient despite the obstacles? What happens when we become so worn out and tired and don’t have the strength to keep going on? Sometimes after expending all of our efforts with nothing seeming to work out, we are ready to be done trying.
I’ve been there multiple times.
In the New Testament we read about Jesus teaching a multitude when a man came to him with his son who had been afflicted since he was young. The father explained of the challenges that the family had dealt with:
“[O]fttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but,” he said, “if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us” (Mark 9:22).
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shared, “With no other hope remaining, this father asserts what faith he has and pleads with the Savior of the world, ‘If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.' I can hardly read those words without weeping. The plural pronoun us is obviously used intentionally. This man is saying, in effect, ‘Our whole family is pleading. Our struggle never ceases. We are exhausted. Our son falls into the water. He falls into the fire. He is continually in danger, and we are continually afraid. We don’t know where else to turn. Can you help us? We will be grateful for anything—a partial blessing, a glimmer of hope, some small lifting of the burden carried by this boy’s mother every day of her life.’” (Jeffrey R. Holland, "Lord, I Believe", General Conference, April 2013).
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” (Mark 9:24).
Sometimes when the challenges have gone on for so long and we have lost hope, we have a hard time believing that there might be a light in some distant future where things will work out. In those times we may need to ask for the help to believe.
Joseph Smith taught that, our Father in Heaven is more “boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive” (Joseph Smith, History, 1838–1856, volume D-1 [1 August 1842–1 July 1843]).
Test out these words and promises and come to know for yourself.
In closing, I want to wish all of you a happy Mother’s Day. For those who have been fortunate enough to have wonderful amazing mothers, be grateful. For those who have the chance in this life to be mothers, be grateful. For those who don’t have either, remember that you have a Father and a Mother in Heaven who both love you dearly and long to have you back home with them again.
I testify that it is through the prophet Joseph Smith that the plan of our Heavenly Father has been restored to the earth. This plan provided a way through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ to give us the comfort and help that we will need as we struggle throughout our lives. As we turn to our Savior we can find the strength and capacity to continue on through the difficulties we will face.
I know God lives. I know He loves all of us. He really is there.
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