The Gift to Change our Lives for the Better

If you look at the world that we live in things are constantly changing: the sun continually moves across the sky; leaves fall off trees and new ones grow back; tiny babies grow to adulthood. Everything in nature happens a little bit at a time, day by day. Change surrounds us, and the power to change lies within us. President James E. Faust taught, 

“Each one of us has been given the power to change his or her life. As part of the Lord’s great plan of happiness, we have individual agency to make decisions. We can decide to do better and to be better….

“Let us remember that the power to change is very real, and it is a great spiritual gift from God” (link to talk).

Throughout our lives we are continually changing. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago. I have changed physically, mentally, and emotionally, among other things. Where I am now is a compilation of little choices that I have made each day for many years. Some of these choices became habits through repetition, diligence and effort. Others were a one-time choice where I learned from my mistakes never to repeat.

Before we came down to earth we understood that we would be free to act for ourselves. We lived with our Heavenly Father as His spirit children for millions and millions of years. He watched us grow, choose, make mistakes, try again, and learn. He knows us so much more than we can fathom. He designed an individual plan for every single person on this earth—perfect in its intertwining nature as we interact with other people, environments, and circumstances. President Thomas S. Monson reminds us,

“Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.

“This should be our purpose—to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life” (link to talk).

In our pre mortal state we knew what we would be up against on earth and we knew we would fall short despite our best efforts. We knew that life would be hard but was a necessary step for us to progress from our spiritual state to a resurrected, perfected state.

We also knew Jesus Christ, our literal spirit Brother, personally. We watched Him, and knew who He really was. He was chosen to come down to earth to fill the gaps and holes that we would have because of our imperfect choices. We knew and trusted Him implicitly. I love how Elder Tad R. Callister expresses this idea,

“Over long eons of time in the pre mortal realm [Jesus Christ] proved faithful and dependable and honorable in every commitment, every responsibility, and every charge. The scriptures tell us that from eternity to eternity he is the same. He never deviated from the mark, never slacked in his performance, never shrank from his word. He kept every command with exactness; he discharged every duty with precision; he was not slack concerning his promise. His promises were immutable and unchangeable. As a result, his spiritual credit was rapidly escalating until it was pure gold, even infinite in value. That is why the laws of justice could recognize the benefits of the Atonement before the purchase price was ever paid, because his promise, his pledge, his credit was ‘good for it’, and everyone who honored their first estate knew it” (Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, p74). 

Here on earth we interact with others, and deal with changing situations and circumstances. No one on this earth has ever been, nor ever will be, perfect—save Jesus alone. Imperfection is something we will have to deal with, in ourselves and in others. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect” (link to talk). Elder Jeffrey R. Holland also stated, 

“Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work” (link to talk).

Through the Atonement of our Savior and Redeemer we can change. We will never attain to perfection in this life, but if it is a goal we are striving for in this life we an continue in that direction in the next life. Joseph Smith taught,

““When you climb up a ladder, you must begin at the bottom, and ascend step by step, until you arrive at the top; and so it is with the principles of the Gospel—you must begin with the first and go on until you learn all the principles of exaltation. But it will be a great while after you have passed through the veil before you will have learned them. It is not all to be comprehended in this world; it will be a great work to learn our salvation and exaltation even beyond the grave.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p 348)

We can strive daily to learn something new, whether intellectually, spiritually, manually, musically, geographically, whatever suits your fancy. By making little improvements day by day we can one day look back and see just how far we have come.

I used to get overwhelmed by the vastness of the things there are to learn in this world, and would not know where to start. Now I try and pick one thing to work on a time. I believe that if we are continually moving in the right direction and trying to improve ourselves in this life, when we die our surroundings may change but we will continue to be who we are. My father once explained it in this way, 

“For those who choose the lifestyle, I think spirit prison could very well describe what some folks are living here. I doubt if any of us make this world as nice as paradise. The next life and world is probably ‘patterned after’ this one. I think the phase shift that occurs between worlds (either coming to or departing from mortality) changes what and who we see, but doesn't change who we are or the type of choices we are inclined to make.  Only a personal choice to choose differently will ever get us on a different path.”

King Benjamin, found in the Book of Mormon, taught that in order to return to live with our Heavenly Father we need to become “as a child” (Mosiah 3:19). Elder Marlin K. Jensen explained, “becoming like a child is a gradual process of spiritual development in which we are aided by the Holy Ghost and our reliance on Christ’s Atonement” (link to talk). When Jesus’ disciples asked Him who was “greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:1), His response was insightful as to the character we should strive to develop.

“And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

“And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:2-4).

Little children are humble, loving, forgiving, accepting, nonjudgmental, very open and honest, and not tainted by the philosophies of men. 

Young David was very child-like and continued to be so for much of his life. In the Bible Dictionary we learn,

“The long and varied discipline through which he passed in the earlier part of his life fitted him for the duties of the throne. As shepherd he acquired the habit of deep reflection; as courtier he was trained in self-control and chivalrous generosity; as outlaw he acquired knowledge of men and power of government. Each successive phase of experience developed in him the conscious dependence upon God that was the secret of his strength throughout his life….David’s life illustrates the need for all persons to endure in righteousness to the end.” (link to reference).

One big question is how to make the change. 

First, true repentance is key. Secondly, we believe that all mankind may be saved by obedience (see Article of Faith 1:3). 

In the scriptures we can find the miraculous conversions of Alma the Younger, the sons of Mosiah, Paul (formerly Saul) of Tarsus, and many others. Once their hearts were changed, they showed their conversion through their unwavering obedience and devotion to the Lord. 

There are other examples of people in the scriptures who were changed, in not so dramatic ways. Nephi and his brothers returned to Jerusalem to Ishmael’s house to see if they could convince them to join them on their journey into the wilderness. The Lord softened Ishmael’s heart, and they start on their way.

“And it came to pass that as we journeyed in the wilderness, behold Laman and Lemuel, and two of the daughters of Ishmael, and the two sons of Ishmael and their families, did rebel against us; yea, against me, Nephi, and Sam, and their father, Ishmael, and his wife, and his three other daughters” (1 Nephi 7:6).

From this passage we learn that Ishmael has two sons, and they join Laman and Lemuel in rebelling against Nephi and those who follow him. His brethren are so irritated with Nephi that they tie him with a cord and want to leave him to die in the wilderness. Nephi, through his faith, is able to free himself from the chains [we can liken this to loosening the chains of sin through our faith]. The story continues,

“And it came to pass that they were angry with me again, and sought to lay hands upon me; but behold, one of the daughters of Ishmael, yea, and also her mother, and one of the sons of Ishmael, did plead with my brethren, insomuch that they did soften their hearts; and they did cease striving to take away my life” (1 Nephi 7:19).

I find it interesting that in this verse one of the sons of Ishmael pled with his brethren. Ishmael only has two sons, and both of them had rebelled against Nephi previously. I wonder if Nephi’s influence somehow helped to soften the heart of this brother so much that he then defended Nephi against his brothers. We don’t hear much else about this son of Ishmael in the scriptures, but his conversion seems to have had a start here.

We also find a story in the Book of Mormon about a people who were once rebellious and wicked and were converted unto the Lord. These people are so completely converted that when they learned of the plan of the Lamanites to attack them they chose to risk death rather than sin again by shedding the blood of their enemies.

“And now behold, since it has been as much as we could do to get our stains taken away from us, and our swords are made bright, let us hide them away that they may be kept bright, as a testimony to our God at the last day, or at the day that we shall be brought to stand before him to be judged, that we have not stained our swords in the blood of our brethren since he imparted his word unto us and has made us clean thereby” (Alma 24:15).

These converted people then teach their children, and it is their children who defend them in the future. Their children were taught so thoroughly that, speaking of those fighting in behalf of their parents, it was said,

“[T]hey were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were...true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.

“Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him” (Alma 53:20-21).

I am sure that the influence of these righteous parents had a similar effect on the faith of their daughters as well.

I am always amazed at the faith of these young boys who, when asked to fight against a much more experienced army, stated (probably without hesitation),

“behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth; we would not slay our brethren if they would let us alone” (Alma 56:46).

They went against this army from behind and fought with such strength that “the whole army of the Lamanites halted and turned upon [them]” (Alma 56:52). These young boys had never fought in their lives, but through the power of their faith, and the faith of their parents, we read the words of their leader, Helaman,

“But behold, to my great joy, there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous strength; and with such mighty power did they fall upon the Lamanites, that they did frighten them; and for this cause did the Lamanites deliver themselves up as prisoners of war” (Alma 56:56).

Such is the power that change can have on generations to come.

Ether teaches what the Lord has said about changing for the better,

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

We need to come unto the Lord. This specific chapter in the Book of Ether is one that talks repeatedly about faith. I think it takes faith to change. Sometimes great faith. It also takes an eternal perspective to have the power and vision to change. We may not be aware of the weaknesses that we have, that may be very obvious to others. The Lord, who is all-knowing, will show us our weakness, and how we can overcome it. 

President Deiter F. Uchtdorf spoke of a study that was done at Cornell University.

“[T]wo researchers invited college students to participate in a series of tests on various life skills and then asked them to rate how they did. The students who performed poorly were the least accurate at evaluating their own performance—some of them estimating their scores to be five times higher than they actually were.

“This study has been replicated in numerous ways, confirming over and over again the same conclusion: many of us have a difficult time seeing ourselves as we truly are, and even successful people overestimate their own contribution and underestimate the contributions that others make.

“It might not be so significant to overestimate how well we drive a car or how far we can drive a golf ball. But when we start believing that our contributions at home, at work, and at church are greater than they actually are, we blind ourselves to blessings and opportunities to improve ourselves in significant and profound ways” (link to talk).

If we approach the Lord, in humility, He can show us where we are weak. Elder Gene R. Cook said,

“You can’t find the word ‘weaknesses’ one time in any of the Standard Works….I always had a hard time thinking the Lord made me impatient; for example, one of my weaknesses. But it doesn’t mean that at all. He has a different definition of what it is He gave you. And the ‘weakness’ has more to do with the mortal state you’ve been put in. You used to not be weak. Now you are, because of this mortality you’re in” (Gene R. Cook, Personal Scripture Study, audio CD#2).

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines weakness as “the quality or state of being weak”. We are immortal beings living in an imperfect and mortal world. Sometimes I feel that my spirit is strong, but my body is weak, stubborn and willful. As we humbly approach the Lord our spirit can gain the strength needed to overcome the natural man.

In the Book of Alma we find Captain Moroni—an amazingly righteous man, and leader of the Nephite army. When preparing to fight against the Lamanite army,

“[Moroni prepared] the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God….

“And in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men” (Alma 48:9).

Moroni knew where his army was weak. He helped his people turn to the Lord, and put more men to strengthen the weak spots, and thus they were able to more fully fortify themselves. The same is true for us. We need to turn to the Lord, and He will help us fortify our weak places. In order to receive the help and protection we desire from the Lord we need to be humble, and obedient to all He requires. 

In Moses the Lord states His eternal goal when He said, “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). President Dieter F. Uchtdorf expanded on this topic when he said,

“And while we may look at the vast expanse of the universe and say, “What is man in comparison to the glory of creation?” God Himself said we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory—the purpose for this magnificent universe—is to save and exalt mankind. In other words, the vast expanse of eternity, the glories and mysteries of infinite space and time are all built for the benefit of ordinary mortals like you and me. Our Heavenly Father created the universe that we might reach our potential as His sons and daughters” (link to talk).

We are the reason He created the universe. We are here to learn to become like Him. His grace is sufficient to cover any imperfections, inadequacies, weaknesses, blatant sins, and even gross wickedness, if we will truly repent and turn unto Him. For the Lord, Himself, stated, 

“Come now, and let us reason together…though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

The Lord knows we will make mistakes. That is why we are here! We are here to learn how to overcome those mistakes, and if we make them again, we can try again to conquer them. The Lord knows who we are, and who we can become. He knows we will fail to attain perfection, but if we turn our lives over to Him we can become so much more than we could ever imagine. Tad R. Callister said, “It is as through the Lord wants to bless every attempt, however small or feeble it may be, to put our life in his hands” (Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, p194). 

The Lord has walked this path before. He has placed prophets, scriptures, families, and friends, on this earth to help lead and guide us. He has also blessed us with the divine gift of His Son, that through Him we can return home again. We need to do our part, but once we have done what we can what a comfort it is to know that He has already made up the rest.

Each new day brings a new opportunity to change. Let us each decide to make that change for the better.