Parable of the Sower (Part 1: Physical State of Soil)

Jesus taught a parable that has got me thinking this past week.

“Behold, a sower went forth to sow;

“And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:

“Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:

“And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.

“And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:

“But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.

“Who hath ears to hear, let him hear” (Matthew 13:3-9).

Jesus taught His disciples that the seed is “the word of the kingdom” (Matthew 13:19). I take this to mean the word of the kingdom of God, or the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have had two trains of thought regarding this parable – both which seem to make sense to me. The first one is looking at the parable from the “physical” state of the soil – where it was already in its varied states when the sower went out to sow. The second one is from a more “spiritual” angle, where the soil started out good, and over time it changed.

“Physical” State of Soil

In thinking about this parable, if it represents those who have the opportunity to hear the word of God why didn’t the sower make sure that all of the seeds landed in good soil (why waste good seed on poor soil)? Why does mortality require that we face thorns and thistles, scorching sun, or stony places? Why didn’t the sower make it so every seed had a chance? Doesn’t he care about where his seeds fall?

If we look at the soil as earth life, and how each of us was placed into different circumstances, we may wonder how life can be “fair”, when some may seem to have it so easy (having things given to them so readily). We may get caught up in all the differences that we find surrounding each of us. However, Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge reminds us:

“Regarding the few things that matter most in life, no one is disadvantaged or privileged. Everyone is on equal footing. This is surprising because there is otherwise so much inequality in life.

“In the end it does not matter how well liked you are or how much money you acquire or how beautiful you may be. The greatest gifts are equally available to everyone” (link to talk).

We are here on earth for a purpose. Nephi taught that, “it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). We knew that the plan of our Father in Heaven would include trials, challenges, and opposition, to help us grow and develop into the person He knows we can become. We knew we would struggle, but we were willing to come down to earth because we knew our Heavenly Father and wanted more than anything to become as He is. We knew life would be hard, but were willing to accept the challenge despite the difficulties. Elder Marlin K. Jensen Jensen taught,

“There is no formula for guaranteeing happiness every day of our lives; in fact, scripture suggests that God did not intend for every day to be entirely happy. There is eternal design and purpose to be seen in suffering, sadness, and adversity” (link to article).

We are each given the joy, trials, hope, sorrow, and everything else we will need in this life to return to our Father in Heaven (see 2 Nephi 2:27). We are each on a specifically, uniquely individual path. Our circumstances—good or bad—are for our good (see Doctrine & Covenants 122:7).

Sometimes we may think that life would be much easier if everything could work out perfectly for everyone—but that can never be. I love the way Dallan R. Moody phrased it, when he said:

“A plan in which supposedly everything would go right so nobody would be lost was 
already proposed and rejected. The plan of salvation, on the other hand, allows for opposition in all things: sadness and sweetness, wrongdoing and repentance, trial and testimony” (link to talk).

How could we ever learn the godly attribute of patience if we never had to wait? How could we learn to love without loss; find virtue in a world filled with vice; or know joy without sorrow? We can’t. Sometimes we need to pass through the trials of life in order to more fully understand them. Brother Moody also stated,

“From time to time the Lord puts certain truths into our hearts that affect our future destiny. We may not fully understand His 
reason for teaching us these principles at these particular times. Instead, it is often once we have passed through the ensuing experiences that 
clarity comes. We can then look back through life’s lenses and more fully see that God does prepare a way for us to accomplish what He 
commands” (link to talk).

The Lord knew, when He presented the Plan to us, that not everyone would have a chance to have the gospel during their mortal life. He did, however, provide a way that all of His children could enjoy the blessings of the gospel. Through the atonement of His Son the way was opened for all to receive these blessings either in this life or in the life to come. Through the restoration of the gospel, through the Prophet Joseph Smith, we now have temples that dot the earth making saving ordinances available for both the living and the dead.

Through the Atonement we are able to not only receive the blessings and ordinances of the gospel, but also the healing power that comes through the use of its divine power. Elder David A. Bednar taught,

“because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice, [the Savior] has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power….The unique burdens in each of our lives help us to rely upon the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (link to talk).

We were given the very trials we face because the Lord knew they would bring us closer to Him. We don’t see everything, because we have limited vision, but He does.

I had an interesting experience that helped teach me more about the Lord’s perspective. I took an art class where I learned about “perspective drawing”. This method is a more realistic way of drawing where things that are closer appear larger and things that are farther away appear smaller. As you look at the picture, you will see that far off on the distant horizon is a place where everything seems to come together. This is known as the “vanishing point” (photo taken from here).

Imagine if you will, that you are part of a finished painting. From your vantage point you can see what is in front of you, but not behind, above, or below you (because people in paintings can’t move). You are limited in your vision. The artist, however, can see the complete picture.

After taking that class I looked at things in a new way – I saw everything from my new “perspective” point of view. I saw how I could change the vanishing point of what I saw by changing where I looked. Everything, no matter where I stood, eventually led to some distant point on the horizon.

I started seeing the world in a new light, and gaining a greater understanding for how the Lord sees it. Taking it a little deeper, for example, when I look at a bird I see an animal with feathers, eyes, a beak, and sometimes can watch it fly or hear it sing. The Lord, with an intricate understanding of how the bird was created, has a much deeper understanding of the bird. He not only knows the details of every feather, and shape of the eyes, but every bone, organ, internal and external feature, the mechanics of how they create their song, and everything else about them.

In like manner, when we look at our own life we may see ourselves, our strengths, weaknesses, circumstances, trials, hopes, dreams, joys, sorrows, and everything else that surrounds us. When the Lord looks at us, however, He sees the whole picture. He sees where we are in the canvas, and also the point on the horizon where everything in our lives will come together and we will see ourselves as He sees us. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught,

“We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming” (link to talk).

In the end the Lord won’t judge us by our circumstances or situation in life. What He will look at is not where we are or what we may have (or feel we lack), but what we are doing with the life He has given us. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf reminds us,

“The Lord doesn’t care at all if we spend our days working in marble halls or stable stalls. He knows where we are, no matter how humble our circumstances. He will use—in His own way and for His holy purposes—those who incline their hearts to Him.

“God knows that some of the greatest souls who have ever lived are those who will never appear in the chronicles of history. They are the blessed, humble souls who emulate the Savior’s example and spend the days of their lives doing good” (link to talk).

If we feel that life has planted us in undesirable soil, remember that there is a way to be transplanted to the good soil. It comes only in and through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We may have plenty of thorns to untangle or stones to move, but if we turn to the Lord we can gain comfort in His promise,

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28–30.)

About this scripture President Howard W. Hunter stated,

“This marvelous offer of assistance extended by the Son of God himself was not restricted to the Galileans of his day. This call to shoulder his easy yoke and accept his light burden is not limited to bygone generations. It was and is a universal appeal to all people, to all cities and nations, to every man, woman, and child everywhere.

“In our own great times of need we must not leave unrecognized this unfailing answer to the cares and worries of our world. Here is the promise of personal peace and protection. Here is the power to remit sin in all periods of time. We, too, must believe that Jesus Christ possesses the power to ease our burdens and lighten our loads. We, too, must come unto him and there receive rest from our labors” (link to talk).

Let us work to allow the Atonement of Christ to help us move to good ground. Then we can bring forth fruit to help further the work of the Lord's kingdom in these, the last days.

<to be continued...>

Sermon on the Mount

The Savior taught what has come to be known as “The Sermon on the Mount”. Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge said, “The Sermon on the Mount is the greatest sermon ever given. It is not a random collection of truths but rather a carefully orchestrated sermon that leads to an important conclusion” (link to article).

The Savior spoke to His disciples and taught them how they could be blessed in this life—blessed if they mourned, if they were merciful, as they were peacemakers, among other attributes (see Matthew 5:3-12). It seems that the Lord had a higher standard for those who followed Him—a standard that may sometimes seem counterintuitive with our natural reaction. As we learn more about the Savior and emulate His teachings, we can become more and more like He is.

He taught about letting your light shine and being the salt of the earth—being an example to others. Before we can help others shine we need to shine ourselves. Elaine S. Dalton reminds us of how to have the Savior’s light burning within us, when she said,

“[Do] the simple, doable things…such as prayer, fasting, scripture study, temple attendance, and following the counsel of our prophets. Doing these things consistently opens the door for the Spirit to be our constant companion. Each prayer, each scriptures read, each temple session attended adds oil to our lamps. President Spencer Kimball said that the oil in our lamps is accumulated a drop at a time and that it is an individual pursuit….

“As we accumulate oil for our lamps, we become vessels….

“Through daily doing the simple, doable things, we will become vessels pure and holy and filled with light. We will carry the oil with us that will burn brightly for all to see.” (Elaine S. Dalton, A Return to Virtue, p56-57).

There are those who may seek the praise or recognition of the world, but the Savior taught a higher way. When we give service, “let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth” (Matthew 6:3). When we fast or pray, we should do so humbly, sincerely, and privately, “and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly” (Matthew 6:6, 18).

I find it interesting that among the many synonyms for the word open are the words, “revealed”, “unlocked”, and "unsealed" (link to thesaurus). Perhaps the Lord is teaching us that as we humbly and sincerely seek Him the windows of our understanding may be unlocked to some of His mysteries. As we understand the ways of the Lord, and his dealings with men (see 1 Nephi 2:12), we may be less inclined to murmur or complain because of trials and challenges we face.

The Savior taught of learning to control our thoughts, rather than just our actions. Learn to control our anger, our desires, or habits we may have which are offensive to the Spirit. Learn to love our enemies, give more than we receive, and ultimately, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

The Savior continued to teach, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth,…But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,…For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:19-21). 

What are our treasures? What are those things that occupy much of our time, or our thoughts: work, family, technology, reading, temple worship, service? I am sure that we can each come up with a list that goes on and on. The purpose is to take an accounting of our lives and see if we are spending our time on those things that matter most, or if there is  room for improvement. Are we too busy with the care and burdens of life to enjoy those things that truly, eternally, matter? If so, we may do well by listening to the counsel of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, who said:

“The wise…resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life. They follow the advice ‘There is more to life than increasing its speed.’ In short, they focus on the things that matter most….

“The search for the best things inevitably leads to the foundational principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ—the simple and beautiful truths revealed to us by a caring, eternal, and all-knowing Father in Heaven. These core doctrines and principles, though simple enough for a child to understand, provide the answers to the most complex questions of life” (link to talk).

Elder Richard G. Scott gave a little more insight into how to focus on the treasures of heaven when he said,

“Many voices from the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There is always more to do and more to accomplish. Yet deep inside each of us is a need to have a place of refuge where peace and serenity prevail, a place where we can reset, regroup, and reenergize to prepare for future pressures.

“The ideal place for that peace is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece" (link to talk).

The Savior taught, “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things [every necessary thing] shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). As we seek to focus on those things that matter most, the Lord will bless us beyond our capacity to understand. 

Looking at the teachings of the Savior—and the long list of changes we many need to make—we may become discouraged by how far short we are at perfection. What seems to matter to the Lord, however, are our motives for what we are doing. Are we looking to please the Lord, or to be seen of men? It may take time to be able to do things for the right reason, but even if we’re in the ‘honestly trying’ stage, then we’re moving in the right direction. 

One thing we need to remember is that we are here on earth to progress. If we are moving forward in one thing, even if we may not be making headway in anything else, the Lord will celebrate our progress. The Lord loves each and every one of us, no matter our stage in life or our circumstances. The great Plan of Salvation was designed to teach us by experience—experiences specifically tailored to our individual needs. When the Savior was on the earth He blessed the people one-by-one. If He were here today, He would do the same. Each and every one of us is His beloved child. We can turn to Him, talk to Him, and allow the Spirit to guide us as we travel on the path of life. 

One of the ways to have the Spirit guide us through life is by prayer, and during the Sermon on the Mount the Savior gave His disciples an example of how to pray (see Matthew 6:9-13). Jesus Christ was perfect in everything He did. His prayers were perfect. When He prayed He was humble and acknowledged His dependence on, and trust in, His—and our—Heavenly Father. His prayers were full of gratitude for trials, and the opportunity to overcome. He also demonstrated His willingness to be obedient to all that the Father asked—through His words and His works. 

The Savior also taught that we can “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7). I know there have been times where I have asked and not received, and sought and not found. The Gospel of Luke seemed to clarify this for me a bit more, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:13).

As we seek the Lord, we can have the Holy Spirit to be with us. As we knock, and act on the promptings we receive, we can likewise be guided. 

The Savior, in His teachings, is not trying to discourage us or to tell us that we have an unattainable goal ahead of us. He is teaching us the way that we must follow—the way that He followed—if we are to return to live with our Father in Heaven again. As Nephi taught, “this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God” (2 Nephi 31:21). Jesus Christ is the way that we must follow, and from His teachings we can learn how to follow Him.

Regarding the Sermon on the Mount Elder Corbridge said, 

“The Lord describes a process beginning with the recognition that we are poor in spirit, which in turn may cause us to mourn for our sins, focus on things of eternal value, be filled with the Holy Ghost, avoid all that would offend the Spirit, and stand firm against adversity to the end, that we become ‘the salt of the earth,’ ‘the light of the world,’ and ‘a city that is set on an hill’. He said, ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven’.

“At the end of the sermon, the Savior [guides us to the] conclusion to be fruitful:

“’Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. …

“’Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them’.

“The purpose of the Father’s plan is not only that we be redeemed from sin and endowed with power from on high but also that by the power of the Holy Ghost we become a ‘good tree’ and make a difference in the lives of others, especially by helping them partake of the fruit of the tree of life [to be forgiven of your sins and be endowed with the power of the Holy Ghost]—the most important thing” (link to article).

May we carefully study the teachings of the Savior, and try to emulate them in our lives, so that we can one day become even as He is (see 3 Nephi 27:27).

Home: A Refuge

The world in which we live is full of goodness and vice—and whatever we are looking for we are sure to find. The media, books, and internet, among other things, are full of a plethora of information; as well as a lot of completely useless stuff. How do we keep our homes clean and pure so that we, and our children, can find the beauty in this life, and also a refuge from the onslaught of the world?

We can install filters on our internet devices, put blocks on different things, but we can’t ignore the problem. It isn’t as simple as just staying home and avoiding everything bad. We need to teach our children, because the adversary is trying every means to find his way into our homes. President Boyd K. Packer said,

“We live in a very dangerous world that threatens those things that are most spiritual. The family, the fundamental organization in time and eternity, is under attack from forces seen and unseen. The adversary is about. His objective is to cause injury. If he can weaken and destroy the family, he will have succeeded.

“Latter-day Saints recognize the transcendent importance of the family and strive to live in such a way that the adversary cannot steal into our homes. We find safety and security for ourselves and our children in honoring the covenants we have made and living up to the ordinary acts of obedience required of the followers of Christ” (link to talk).

From the Book of Mormon we can look at the words that Helaman taught his sons,

“And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12).

The only way to find safety in this life is by building upon the rock of Christ. In the book of Matthew we read about the parable of the wise man and the foolish man. The wise man built his house upon the rock, and the foolish man built his on the sand. If we read closely, the wise man is one who “heareth these sayings of [the Savior], and doeth them” (Matthew 7:24, emphasis added). If we look back a few verses we realize that the sayings He is referring to are the words He taught on the Sermon on the Mount. As we hear and do the words of the Lord, we will be fortified against the challenges that we will face in this life. David S. Baxter taught,

“The truth is that our only safety, our only security, our only hope is to hold fast to that which is good. As the mists of darkness gather around us, we are only lost if we choose to let go of the iron rod, which is the word of God.

"The Savior’s parable of the wise man who built his house upon a rock…illustrates that life’s challenges befell the wise man too. The rains fell, the winds blew, the floods rose up. Yet he survived it all because he had built upon a sure foundation and, crucially, he stayed there when the storm came” (link to talk).

Building our homes on the rock of Christ takes time, and it isn’t something that will just happen automatically. In the parable of the sower we read about the interpretation of the seeds that fell on good ground.

“But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience” (Luke 8:15).

It is the day-to-day efforts of saying family and personal prayers, reading scriptures together as a family and individually, and holding weekly Family Home Evening that can build the foundation of faith and security for our families. Creating a home where children are loved and trusted can help foster spiritual growth.

As parents we have been counseled by the Lord to teach our children “to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands” (Doctrine & Covenants 68:25) and this, by the time they are eight years old, or their sins will be upon our heads. President Benson reminded us,

“Those in the Book of Mormon who were taught nothing concerning the Lord but only concerning worldly knowledge became a cunning and a wicked people.

“All truths are not of the same value. The savings truths of salvation are of greatest worth. These truths [were] taught plainly, frequently, and fervently. Are we doing likewise?...

“Repetition is a key to learning. Our children need to hear the truth repeated, especially because there is so much falsehood abroad” (Ezra Taft Benson, A Witness and A Warning, p68-69).

The home is the ideal setting to teach our children. In the scriptures we read of the importance of home and family in the eyes of the Lord. In the Doctrine & Covenants, however, the Lord chastises several brethren because of their neglect in matters of the home.

“You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction.

“And now a commandment I give unto you—if you will be delivered you shall set in order your own house,…

“in some things he hath not kept the commandments concerning his children; therefore, first set in order thy house….

“set in order his family, and see that they are more diligent and concerned at home, (Doctrine & Covenants 93:42-44, 50, emphasis added).

How are we doing at setting our homes in order?

I remember when my oldest child was small I would go on a lot of outings – to the zoo, museums, aquarium, etc – and ended up spending a lot of time away from home. Through the years I have learned that staying at home more, and focusing on my children while there, has brought much more peace and order into my own life, and in our home. Elder Dallin H. Oaks reminds us,

“In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. ‘The thing I liked best this summer,’ the boy replied, ‘was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.’ Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

“The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children” (link to talk, emphasis added).

As we express our understanding of the gospel, and our testimonies to our children, we will be allowing the Holy Ghost the opportunity to teach them. When asked how he was able to keep order with so many people, the Prophet Joseph Smith replied, “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves” (link to article). The same can happen in our homes. President Benson said it a little bit differently,

“The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature” (Ezra Taft Benson, A Witness and A Warning, p64).

In our homes we, as parents, need to be the example. We need to show our children the way to live, and our commitment to the Savior, through our actions. President Benson continued,

“[M]en captained by Christ will be consumed in Christ….

“Their will is swallowed up in his will. They do always those things that please the Lord. Not only would they die for the Lord, but more important they want to live for Him.

“Enter their homes, and the pictures on their walls, the books on their shelves, the music in the air, their words and acts reveal them as Christians. They stand as witnesses of God at all time, and in all things, and in all places. They have Christ on their minds, as they look unto Him in every thought. They have Christ in their hearts as their affections are placed on Him forever” (Ezra Taft Benson, A Witness and A Warning, p64-65).

I think that as a parent one of my greatest concerns is not wanting my children to make mistakes and have to go through the pain and suffering that this life brings. I want them to do the right thing because it will save them a lot of heartache in the end. What I sometimes forget is that the way I learned was through the mistakes I made, and dealing with the consequences of my choices. It seems that it would be so much easier if we could just make our children obey us, but that would be against the law of agency—choosing for ourselves. I love the example that Richard Eyre gives about agency; this case is specifically about financial responsibility, but the principle can apply to any aspect of learning–whether temporal or spiritual.

“Be prepared for the predictable fact that your children will make some bad purchase decisions for a while. Minimize this by helping children make lists of what they need. But don’t make the decisions for them or force them to buy one thing and not buy another.

“We have a daughter whose first purchase after she turned eight was a pair of $75 jeans. I tried to steer her toward less expensive pants and warned her that it was nearly all the money she had, but stopped short of telling her that she’d be sorry or saying ‘I’m afraid you’re not old enough for this system.’

“She bought them and enjoyed wearing them for a couple of days and then started wishing she had money to buy some other things she needed.

“The question parents need to ask themselves is Do I want my children making mistakes and learning from them when they’re eight years old and the consequences are minor—or when they’re eighteen years old and the consequences could kill them? People really do only learn to be responsible when they have responsibility” (Linda and Richard Eyre, 3 Steps to a Strong Family, p115-116).

How many of us would want to allow our child to make the above mistake? I wouldn’t, but I would want my child to learn the lesson that their daughter learned. As we learn to allow our children to make mistakes, to act for themselves, they will learn for themselves. 

Elder David A. Bednar gave counsel on using the scriptures to learn about the use of agency in the home. He said,

“I would invite you to look for examples of righteous parenting in the scriptures. There’s one illustration…about Heavenly Father dealing with Adam in the Garden of Eden.

“Now the question that the Father posed to Adam is, after he’s partaken of the fruit, ‘Adam where art thou?’—and Adam is hiding. Now, doesn’t the Father know where Adam is? Of course he does! So, why ask the question if He already knows where he is? What do most parents do? ‘Adam! Get out from underneath that tree!’...you give him a lecture. Watch what the Father did. ‘Adam? What are you doing?’ He’s treating Adam as an agent, not as an object. He invites Adam to act. What does He do? He poses a question. Adam begins to respond and as He asks additional questions Adam comes to realize what he had done. The Father didn’t ask Adam because the Father didn’t know where he was. The Father asked Adam because Adam didn’t know where he was. And instead of telling him He helps Adam learn” (David A. Bednar, Increase in Learning, chapter 1, video clip #11).

As we are looking at our own homes we could consider stopping to ask ourselves how we are doing in the teaching of our children. Are we allowing them to learn the why, or are we telling them the what? Are we being diligent in teaching the gospel in our homes? Are we focusing our time and efforts on our families?

In Matthew we read, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21). Is the time that we spend with our family a treasure or a burden? Elder Tad R. Callister asks it this way,

“We might all ask ourselves: do our children receive our best spiritual, intellectual, and creative efforts, or do they receive our leftover time and talents, after we have given our all to our Church calling or professional pursuits?” (link to talk).

President Boyd K. Packer reminds us, that “The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home” (link to talk). Are we allowing other things to have a higher priority than the Lord, and our family? Elder Gary E. Stevenson gives us several questions that we can ask to help us each do a personal inventory of our own homes.

“Wherever your home may be and whatever its configuration, the application of eternal gospel principles within its walls is universal. Let’s begin. Imagine that you are opening your front door and walking inside your home. What do you see, and how do you feel? Is it a place of love, peace, and refuge from the world, as is the temple? Is it clean and orderly? As you walk through the rooms of your home, do you see uplifting images which include appropriate pictures of the temple and the Savior? Is your bedroom or sleeping area a place for personal prayer? Is your gathering area or kitchen a place where food is prepared and enjoyed together, allowing uplifting conversation and family time? Are scriptures found in a room where the family can study, pray, and learn together? Can you find your personal gospel study space? Does the music you hear or the entertainment you see, online or otherwise, offend the Spirit? Is the conversation uplifting and without contention? That concludes our tour. Perhaps you, as I, found a few spots that need some ‘home improvement’—hopefully not an ‘extreme home makeover.’

“Whether our living space is large or small, humble or extravagant, there is a place for each of these gospel priorities in each of our homes.

“In order to keep the temple and those who attend it sacred and worthy, the Lord has established standards through His servants, the prophets. We may be well-advised to consider together, in family council, standards for our homes to keep them sacred and to allow them to be a ‘house of the Lord.’” (link to talk).

As we focus on being diligent and concerned at home, our homes will naturally become places where our families want to be. President Benson taught some ways we can do this.

“Rearing happy, peaceful children is no easy challenge in today’s world, but it can be done….

“Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often….

“Children need to know who they are in the eternal sense of their identity. They need to know that they have an eternal Heavenly Father on whom they can rely, to whom they can pray, and from whom they can receive guidance. They need to know whence they came so that their lives will have meaning and purpose.

“Children must be taught to pray, to rely on the Lord for guidance, and to express appreciation for the blessings that are theirs….

“Children must be taught right from wrong. They can and must learn the commandments of God….

“Children must be taught to work at home. They should learn there that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. They should learn the pleasure of work, of doing a job well.

“The leisure time of children must be constructively directed to wholesome, positive pursuits. Too much time viewing television can be destructive, and pornography in this medium should not be tolerated….

“Families must spend more time together in work and recreation. Family home evenings should be scheduled once a week as a time for recreation, work projects, skits, songs around the piano, games, special refreshments, and family prayers. Like iron links in a chain, this practice will bind a family together, in love, pride, tradition, strength, and loyalty” (link to talk).

As we live the gospel in our homes, our homes can become a place of love and acceptance. Elaine S. Dalton expressed it this way,

“There are so many loud voices in the world and so many pressures and so much negative feedback. Our children are constantly being told that they are not enough. They are not good enough, or smart enough, or think enough, or rich enough. When they walk through the doors of our homes, they must feel that they are enough. They must feel peace. Our homes must not be places of additional stress and pressure. They must be havens where each of our children can be valued and loved for just being themselves. As mothers, our role is to love and lead our children. In the words of Sheri Dew, ‘If we don’t show them there is joy in living this way, where else can they possibly expect to see it!’” (Elaine S. Dalton, A Return to Virtue, p102).

Let us work at fulfilling our role as parents in teaching our children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Enos 1:1). Let us make our homes a refuge from the world, and a place of peace and love where the spirit can dwell. Let us spend more time being diligently concerned about our homes and family, and let our homes be a standing witness of our belief in our Savior, Jesus Christ.